I think Reddit Island will not be a good place to live (it will smell like dude in there), but there’s nothing that says that people can’t band together into social networks or even communal living experiments that will provide long-term stability and community in the absence of pair-bonding.

am not interested dating-40

You are definitely pushing back against a culture that wants to ‘ship everyone and has “falling in love” as one of its most popular and prevalent narratives, so it’s understandable that it would be isolating or draining to feel like you have to defend or justify yourself.

If it gets to be a bummer, think about the way the narratives & expectations have changed throughout history.

If you jump back a few centuries, there was an extensive infrastructure and support in the cultural narrative for European men & women who didn’t want to take the gamble that their families would marry them off to someone non-repulsive.

I’m not comfortable at the moment categorising myself as asexual/aromantic, although maybe at some point in the future if I find it’s convenient.

Essentially I’m happy with the ‘’it happens if it happens’’ mentality, but would also be happy if it never happened.

I’ve been left cold by the few encounters I’ve had in the past, and would rather focus my social attention on platonic friendships.Basically, I suppose I’d like some reassurance that this is ok.I feel like I’m so used to hearing about being single in terms of a problem that needs fixing, a personal failure or just a transitory period, without so much of the ‘’relationships aren’t for everyone, and that’s cool too.’’ (Possibly doesn’t help that I’m female and like cats, which is another stereotype that annoys the hell out of me.) Also, any advice on how I could convince people that it’s not a problem would be appreciated.I think partly because of this, I have trouble comforting/offering advice to single friends who want relationships.I don’t want to sound dismissive and say something like ‘’but really, you don’t need to be with someone’’, but also don’t want to fall back on determinist cliches of the ‘’it’ll happen for you eventually if you want it to!’’ sort, and because I have no first-hand experience of seeking relationships, I can’t offer up anything in that score.