Trying to piece it all together will make you crazy. As hard as it sounds, you need to try and put this out of your mind. It doesn’t change the fact that this appears to be over.

He tried it and it wasn’t shaping up to what he wanted or thought it could be. He thought you two were ready to go to the next level and now he’s reconsidering.

There are people out there who never get that explanation. People are split down the middle in regards to the appropriate and effective ways we communicate.

You can reply to him and express your confusion and hurt. If he wanted to speak on the phone with you, he’d have called.

The words boyfriend and girlfriend really should be erased from the dictionary at this point, as they mean nothing. But signs or no signs, he’s not ready or not interested.

Men let them because it’s easier than having some drawn out conversation. They could be as tiny as a hesitation to answer certain questions or have conversations. Like when he says he wants to get to know you better before committing.

But before you react, let’s break this whole thing down. I’m not privy to the details or conversations where you two agreed to be “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” I do know that women tend to take the “my boyfriend” ball and run with it. I think 3 months is enough time where a phone call is warranted. He knew you’d be hurt and would probably want to talk it out.

Now, let’s go on the presumption that he did these things for you.

My boyfriend of three months and I recently booked a weekend trip to Miami for Memorial Day Weekend. They are juvenile terminology we use to help us clarify and identify a relationship.

(He paid for the tickets.) Over the weekend he sent me an email telling me that he didn’t feel we were ready to travel together and that he wanted some time to think about things. I’m so shell shocked I don’t know what I would say. What matters is whether or not the two people involved in the relationship have a) sacrificed something for the other person and b)expressed or pledged and explicit desire to be exclusive. Sadly, we do not get to schedule or choose when we are dumped.

This came on so suddenly that I didn’t know how to respond. (Even then there’s no guarantee, but for the purpose of this conversation let’s assume there is.) Sacrifice is key. Do they relinquish a level of power or sense of security to you? For him to do something like this should tell you just how apprehensive he was.

I already took the days off work to accommodate this trip. If not, then this is a faux-lationship with an expiration date.